 "Photo: Witten, Mark")
How do you give a woman an orgasm? How do you give one to yourself? Where's the G-spot? These questions were answered March 14 during "I Love Female Orgasm," a lecture designed to explore the intricacies, myths and facts about female sexuality.
Sex educator Dorian Solot and her husband Marshall Miller spoke to about 500 students in the University Union Chesapeake Rooms.
"There are important health reasons as to why we need access to really good information about our bodies and our sexuality. If women don't have this access to accurate information, how would we have the awareness level to notice the symptoms of an STD or have the courage to have it checked out?," Solot said. "How would we have the confidence to say no for sex we're not interested in, or the skills to negotiate for safe sex with a partner who's giving us a hard time?"
Solot, a breast cancer survivor, discovered a small lump in her chest when she was 26 years old.
"For me this is not theoretical. The fact that I was comfortable with my own body may have saved my life," she said. "I was so grateful that I wasn't one of those women that internalized that it was bad to touch your own body."
The pair asked the audience what they had heard about female orgasms.
"It feels like you have to pee," said one female student. "It feels 10 times better than a guy's," another said.
Miller and Solot used a projection screen to show a collection of magazine covers detailing descriptions of articles concerning "the big O."
Solot focused on one headline: "Can't peak with him? Fail proof ways to reach the finish line." The article referenced climaxing together with a partner. Solot spent a few minutes dispelling the notion that a simultaneous orgasm is an easy task as seen in movies and television.
"It's perfectly fine to have sequential orgasm," Solot said.
The crowd was then divided by gender and the women were given the opportunity to ask questions and take advantage of Solot's expertise.
The men moved to Room 305 and discussed how to become a better lover and listened to Miller compare driver's education and sex education. According to Miller, sex education instructors implore more of a "just don't do it" approach and that it's dangerous. If driver's ed was taught the same way, lessons would focus on always wearing your seatbelt and you wouldn't be taught how to parallel park, he said.
"You don't tell your secrets, you try them out and look for results," Miller said. "The same thing doesn't work for every woman. All women are different."
According to Miller, it takes a woman an average of 20 minutes of direct stimulation to reach climax. For men, it takes roughly 2 to 5 minutes. Also, by the age of 16, 50 percent of women have figured out how to orgasm on their own. He said reaching orgasm with your partner is a trial and error process. He recommended using phrases like "is this ok?" or "what feels good?"
Miller emphasized that a crucial mistake men make in bed is caring too much and putting too much pressure on their partner to be satisfied. His advice was to "let go of the end results."
When the groups rejoined, Solot shared a poll she had taken of the women in attendance.
Solot said that of the women in attendance, 30 percent preferred a larger penis, 10 percent favored a smaller penis and 60 percent said it didn't matter.
The women also created a list of 20 components of the female orgasm, including the partner, toys, oral sex, and masturbation.
Solot and Miller shed light on the inner workings of the female anatomy by telling jokes about how most of the students in the room were taught and could remember where the fallopian tubes were located but were never told where the clitoris was.
Miller began to delve into the location of the G-spot and how the number of nerve endings varied for each woman.
He referred to a diagram on the projection screen, saying, "if you were looking for her G-spot you'd be looking inside her vagina, about 2-3 inches inside and you'd be looking towards the frontal wall."
Miller added that through G-spot stimulation a female can ejaculate. Different sensations and different types of orgasms occur through the various methods of climax.
"Every orgasm is different, like a snowflake," Solot joked.
Miller then talked about a unique exercise, Kegel exercises, that could stop the flow of semen during sexual intercourse. This allows the male to have multiple orgasms. Kegel stretches are described as flexing the muscles you would use to stop urinating. Miller said the prescribed amount of time for the stretch to take effect would be around a year.
For more information regarding the female orgasm, contact Solot and Miller at info@sexualityeducation.com or visit www.ilovefemaleorgasm.com.
The event was sponsored by the Campus Activities Board and the University Residence Government.
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