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On Facebook, life after death

8 June 2007 By Brian Stelter 3 Comments
Profiles become online memorials

A few days before she died, Elizabeth Juhasz logged onto Facebook and added a quote to the “About Me” section of her profile.

“The one thing I’ve learned this summer is that nothing in life is set in stone,” it said. “Anything and everything can change in the blink of an eye!! You just gotta stay optimistic no matter what you face.”

Juhasz, an occupational therapy major at Towson, had been diagnosed from pulmonary hypertension, a rare lung disorder. She was admitted to Johns Hopkins Medical Center during finals week in May, and she posted the quote when she came home from the hospital.

UMBC student Daniel Mirchandani announced her death on Facebook on June 14, just hours after she died.

“I love you so much, little sister, and I miss you. Rest in peace,” he wrote.

Juhasz’s Facebook wall filled with more than 30 condolences and memories in a matter of days. Mirchandani posted updates about a memorial service held by her family. Friends from Bowie, Emerson, Frostburg, Goucher, Ohio State, Morgan, Salisbury, and other colleges logged online to post messages.

And six months later, the Facebook profile is still accessible, serving as a virtual shrine to Juhasz’s life.

Facebook and other social networking sites like it have increasingly become places where college students live and, in some cases, die. A Facebook spokesperson said profiles of deceased members aren’t supposed to stay online forever: “once we learn that someone has passed away, we leave their profile up for 30 days, and then take it down.”

But many of the profiles stay online, leaving a lasting memorial for the student and their friends.

Amanda Gilland was a freshman pre-mass communication major when she died in November 2004. Her wall also became a shrine.

“Amanda… words can’t describe the pain I’m feeling,” one friend wrote. “I miss you so much and don’t know what I’m going to do without you telling me to suck it up, lol.”

Almost two years later, Gilland still has 16 Towson friends. She is still a member of 29 groups. Her favorite quote is still “tough times never last, tough people do.”

When students die, Facebook is also used as a communication tool. Senior Tim Lawrence didn’t have a Facebook account, but his brothers in Sigma Pi used the Web site to inform Greeks about a memorial service when Lawrence died in June 2006.

Alex Bois sent directions to the memorial and asked friends to upload pictures of Lawrence to a Photobucket account.

Similarly, when Juhasz died, Mirchandani posted a Web site with links to a photo album, poems by her family, and the pastor’s sermon at her funeral. He also created a Facebook group in honor of her, in case the profile was removed.

Katie Stadig, a senior political science major, said Juhasz was always checking Facebook.

“It’s an inside joke we have. We know she’s up there in heaven checking Facebook,” she said.

Stadig said she sometimes glances at Juhasz’s profile to see if anyone has posted new photos.

“It makes me happy, to see her smile,” she said.

Stadig isn’t the only one. Senior nursing major Rebecca Lewis was surfing Facebook last week when she noticed Juhasz’s profile was still online.

“I went to it and saw how many people are still leaving comments about missing her, wishing her happy birthday, and just saying random things that they would say if she were still alive,” Lewis wrote. “I find this so touching and I’m sure that she does to, up there in heaven.”

Lewis said it’s amazing to see how individuals can use social networking Web sites to connect with others. Fittingly enough, she expressed that thought in a note on Facebook.


3 Comments »

  • Your name said:

    My roommate passed away last november 2008 and we had to call facebook to keep his profile up but people comment daily on his page still. i think its an excellent to communicate and let your feelings out.

  • Jana said:

    My boyfriend passed away and he forgot to approve my friend request, can they still approve it for me? I am so sad and I feel like he left me in the dark, i can’t see and leave any message through his Facebook account. Any suggestions?

  • Nina said:

    Jana – reading your message made me very sad, I am sorry you have to go through this. Maybe contact the Facebook admin to find out if they can grant you access. They just might if you explain the situation. Or perhaps one of his family members can do it for you?
    As a final thought, while I understand your pain of not being able to see his FB page, at the end of the day it’s just a silly social media website, which holds no importance in the bigger scheme of things. People’s memories were preserved for thousands of years without FB around.
    Anyway, good luck Jana, may you have a lot of comfort and support during this unimaginably difficult time.

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