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Through my Eyes: Isn’t marriage a right?

10 February 2011 By David Zuckerman, Columnist 4 Comments

For those of you who haven’t heard yet, 19-year-old Zach Wahls, a student from the University of Iowa who was raised by a same-sex couple, went before the House of Representatives last week to oppose an amendment that would end civil unions in Iowa.  He eloquently spoke of how his family wasn’t much different from any other family and how the sexual orientation of his parents did not affect the “content of [his] character.” Wahls’ testimony suggests that homosexual couples can raise a family just as well as heterosexual couples. Why, again, are same-sex-marriages illegal?

The Roman Catholic Church has a very interesting view on the matter of same-sex relationships.  The following excerpt was found at catholic.com:

Every human being is called to receive a gift of divine sonship, to become a child of God by grace. However, to receive this gift, we must reject sin, including homosexual behavior … The Catholic Church teaches that such acts are always violations of divine and natural law.

Similar animosity from Christians can be found at jesus-is-savior.com.  When J.K. Rowling, writer of the well-known “Harry Potter” series, announced that one of her main characters was gay, the above website posted, “I can’t help but wonder how many of those professed Christians who purchase, support and promote ‘Harry Potter’ are truly saved.  I dare say few.  There is something very wrong with a professed Christian who supports a heathen author who promotes witchcraft and homosexuality amongst children.”

Why is it sinful to want to experience sex, love, happiness and, or family life with a member of the same sex?  Why would God create life destined to violate his “divine and natural law”?

There are two ways of looking at sex: sex can be a physical display of deep emotion or it can simply be desirable physical stimulation.  Some people have sex simply for the pleasure of having sex and seek nothing emotional from the act.  I do not see anything wrong with this.  This same desire for stimulation can be accomplished between members of the same sex.  In fact, I bet mutual masturbation is better between members of the same sex, as they are undoubtedly more familiar with their partners’ bodies, seeing as they have similar genitalia. People generally get along better with members of the same sex… are same-sex relationships really that surprising?

I think everyone has the potential to be gay.  I believe it is the negative opinions of others that prevent people from experimenting with same-sex relationships.  We either refrain because we learn from others that this kind of behavior is wrong or blindly believe that this is true, or we are afraid of not being accepted.

Aside: I am familiar with the argument that one’s sexual orientation is not simply determined by environment and social influences.  Some believe that genetic and hormonal factors also play a role in sexual orientation.  I have heard stories about twins being separated at birth and both classifying themselves as homosexuals.  However, the statistics that I have read do not support a positive correlation.  I do find it interesting that people can “spot” gay people based on the way they look and speak.  I feel like there may be some biological basis here, but I am not so bold as to conclude anything on this matter.

Most states do not allow same-sex marriages.  I have read that about 70 percent of Americans support gay rights, but 70 percent also do not support gay marriage.  There seem to be some people that support gay rights, but not the right for gays to marry the ones they love?  Why is this right to wed different from any other right?  How would allowing same-sex marriages hurt anyone?

The common argument against same-sex marriage is that marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman. But who decided this?  Is this not discrimination? I doubt a congressman that introduces a bill excluding black people from marrying other black people and white people from marrying other white people would stay in office for long.  These two circumstances are not that different to me.

Would allowing same-sex marriages destroy the “holy institution” of marriage?  A recent USA Today article discussed how 40 percent of Americans think marriage is becoming obsolete.  I think most people only want to get married because it’s tradition.  The only thing marriage does is alter tax benefits and legal titles with respect to children and guardians.

A marriage license is not necessary for me to be happy.  The only reason I probably will end up getting married is because I doubt the woman that I decide to spend of my life with will share the same sentiment that marriage is unnecessary. She will undoubtedly want to spend thousands of dollars on expensive rings, a huge ceremony, and a fattening cake and I will undoubtedly go along with it all because I’ll love her and want her to be happy.  Marriage also shows commitment, and I will want to show her that I am committed to her (although it isn’t a very serious commitment, as 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.)

Although I and many others don’t think marriage is all that necessary, I’m sure many of us would have a problem if the option to wed was taken away from us.  Everyone should have the right to be with and marry the one they love, regardless of age, color and sex.

Note: Although I only explicitly discuss same-sex relationships, my opinions on this matter are the same with any relationship that does not fit into the norm.  This includes relationships with transgendered individuals.

Aside: Homosexual behavior is also present in nature.  Some primates engage in homosexuality as a sign of affection.  It is natural.

Aside: There have been numerous teen suicides resulting from the ridiculing and bullying of young homosexual adults in recent months.  According to various recent studies, homosexual individuals are two to four times more likely to commit suicide than heterosexual individuals.  If you are having problems pertaining to your sexual orientation, check out the It Gets Better Project and, or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.


4 Comments »

  • Greg Primrose said:

    Marriage is not a right. Marriage is a religious ceremony with religious implications. Different religions are free to set their own requirements for marriage.

    A legal civil union of two people is a right that the state cannot deny to people based on their sexuality. The 14th amendment guarantees equal protection of the law to all, and denying gays the legal benefits of a civil union is wrong.

    I strongly believe that the government should not issue marriage licenses at all. The government has no business using a religious word.

    All citizens, gay or straight, should receive a civil union. If you want a marriage, that is between you and your religion.

  • Charlofte said:

    @Greg Primrose

    I understand where you’re coming from, but I can’t help but point out that I’m atheist and I have the right to get married. Marriage is not necessarily religious, it’s a legal contract recognizing a relationship between two people. Whether it is recognized by a religion or by the state is a different story.

  • Jacque said:

    @ Charlofte

    You don’t have the right to “get married” because marriage IS religious. You can call civil union marriage but by definition it isn’t. Marriage, but definition is a contract between two opposite sexes: male and female. You can’t reinvent the wheel because you see it fit to do so.

    You also said: “but I can’t help but point out that I’m atheist”

    So what. That has nothing to do with your thought on marriage being a right.

  • Elsie Gauley Vega said:

    Greg, If you look at the paper you get at the Court House (a legal paper), you will see it says Marriage Contract or Marriage Certificate. As I recall, a Wedding is held at your church or other house of worship or at your home or your grandma’s garden or a State Park….with a clergy person or a Judge or Justice of the Peace acting as legal witness. But you could have had the legal witnessing done at the Court House, and you would be as fully Married!!!!!!!!! In Europe this separation is fully understood. The legal part makes you fully married; a religious service may follow but is not required…unless your faith requires it; but the law does not require it.
    So, when people talk about ‘a civil union’ they are really talking about the legal part done at the Court House…which is legal for both heterosexual and homosexual couples. The papers and a legal witness is all you need….and you are married. Having a wedding is optional.
    The ability to procreate is not a requirement…….ask any old Catholic widow or widower; they can be in their 90′s and and get the papers at the Court House, and pay the priest and get a wedding.

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