Let’s talk about sex, baby
“After sex he ate me out … on my period … twice … Gross, I know. But, hey, if he’s down for it, who am I to stop him.”
“My ex-girlfriend and I were … exchanging pleasantries downstairs (if you catch my drift) … and after I finished working on her, she swung her leg around and kicked me in the head. Thank God, no damage done.”
“I lost my virginity at a party last year (responsible, I know) and there was some blood from my vagina due to the friction occurring during this romp. He went down on me and when he came back up, a streak of something dark was on his face, but it was too dark (and I was too drunk) to realize that it was, in fact, blood. Long story short, he went back out to the party and endured ‘Why so serious?’ jokes from his roommates for months afterward.”
“Back in May of 2004, I was in 5th grade.
This was also the year of the cicada invasion in the D.C. area. I would normally walk home from elementary school, and along the sidewalk there were cicadas everywhere! With the cicadas everywhere, the only logical conclusion was that I should step on them! Made sense to my 5th grade brain. So I stepped on them in full force. I left a devastated path that Hurricane Katrina would be proud of. But I remember stepping on two that were stuck together. Years later I realized I had stepped on two cicadas getting the dirty on and making sweet, sweet lovin’.”
“It started out as any normal party – boys, girls and alcohol. I met a boy that was in the Navy, which immediately attracted me to him. We went looking for a room in the apartment that we could fool around in and found a bedroom.
There was already a guy with two girls in there already but we didn’t mind and neither did they. So we joined them on the bed.
Soon, other people joined until there were 11 people all crammed on one bed fooling around, having sex, switching partners, and enjoying each other’s naked company.”
“Once upon a drunken night Uptown as the bars were closing, I ran (probably stumbled) into a boy from my class. Next thing I know, we are behind a building, or an alley (somewhere dark and secluded) taking turns going down on each other. Then we parted ways and I wound up at Pizans waiting for a ride home. Can’t wait to tell the grandkids!”
“One does not simply engage in coitus after consuming a Chipotle burrito. Learned that the hard way.”