It’s a fight to the death every April and November, as thousands of students gather at their screens to see who got picked for the best registration time. The battle begins. It doesn’t matter if you’re 12 or 18, I mean, a freshman or a super senior, registration means only one thing: a corpse.

Speech pathology majors are stuck in the olden days (District 12). Not only are all of their classes in Van Bokkelen, they have to register in-person for their major classes each semester.

And I’ve heard rumors about the Careers, you know, the Honors College students? Not only are they granted riches from our Capitol, they have the tools to succeed in early registration.

The computer geeks from District Three must use their hacking skills when they register, because I’ve never met a computer science major that had any trouble getting into their classes.

And the athletic training majors, who don’t get to register early with the athletes, still have to be at sport practices and games for their major.

Ah, the nursing majors from District 10 really have it rough. Not only is organic chemistry a pre-requisite, but if you don’t get in on your first try, good luck trying to graduate on time.

And if you thought nursing was bad, have you ever tried being a psychology major? There is no hope for you graduating on time unless you have a really great registration date and you’re willing to suffer through some rough classes before you become top muttation.

The anthropology majors from District 13 are always forgotten. We’re still here! We’re still alive!

Of course, stylists (advisers) will prep you as well as they know how. But beware– some may lead you down the wrong path, recommending courses that contribute little to your degree. Here’s a hint: if they’re trying to dress you in a coal miner outfit, they’re doing it wrong. Enjoy your peace while you can, indulge in some rich Capitol food in the administration building, collaborate with others in your district/major. Plan strategies. Meet at Starbucks for that 7:30 a.m. registration time. Call to wake up each other, even if your friend is as angry as a pack of tracker jackers. The bloodbath has already begun. Fellow tributes have already registered, and class options have been narrowed down. You may feel under pressure, like maybe a wall of fire is descending on you in a forest. Keep calm, carry on. If you rely on your instincts and rock a bow and arrow, you will succeed and come out victorious. Or at least graduate on time. May the odds be ever in your favor.