Straight man for gay marriage
As a straight white male, one of the most generic demographics in the U.S., I am proud to say that I support same-sex marriage.
Seeing the article on the Washington Post website about the constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in North Carolina last night made me sick to my stomach.
I still cannot possibly understand how a state contained enough ignorant people to deny marriage to two individuals in love. In this day and age, we are supposed to be accepting of others.
Well North Carolina, I ask you this: Would legalizing same-sex marriage in your state decrease productivity in the workplace, make your economy crash or cause someone’s day to be that much worse? (except to those hard-headed people who think that homosexuality is the worst thing to ever happen to anyone).
Maryland legalized same-sex marriage on March 1, and I’m pretty sure on March 2, everyone woke up in the morning and was able to walk around like they would on any other day.
But what was different on March 2 was that for same-sex couples, who are just as human as anyone else in this country were able to feel like they were accepted.
No longer did they have to feel like they were hated, or they couldn’t be denied the same basic human right of love.
I know that the Maryland bill is still facing referendum, but I have confidence that it will make it through and officially become law.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for President Obama coming out in support of same-sex marriage Wednesday, because I feel that it will give the cause some much-needed support, especially with the election season coming up.
Some people are calling the statement risky, but I don’t feel that any president should feel like they have to keep their opinions silent for fear of backlash.
While everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, I feel as if someone’s opinion shouldn’t be allowed to dictate another person’s life, especially when the person that it has impacting has done nothing wrong.
I can’t even begin to count the number of people that I know who have straight parents that have gotten divorced, heated or separated for some reason or another.
It’s not like divorce doesn’t happen to same-sex couples either, but why should they be denied the right to be just as miserable to straight couples? Because let’s be honest, most married couples are miserable.
Same-sex marriage is a really polarizing issue for obvious reasons, and people are bound to be against it, but I really hope that people can see love and marriage is something everyone has a right to, and no law should say otherwise.
Hopefully one day each state will have same-sex marriage legalized so that homosexuals can feel accepted, and feel like they have the ability to start a family and have a life like the “normal” American.
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Are you for the inclusion of polygamy and incestual marriages into the definition of marriage so that they too may live “normal” lives and be accepted?
Where does it stop, or shouldn’t it?
Why do we even have laws on marriage?
Should all laws regarding marriage be abolished, that humans should have the fundamental right to marry whomever, how many ever, at whatever age just because we don’t want to “offend” someone’s lifestyle choice?
Allowing gays to “marry” doesn’t mean they’re going to be accepted any more than when they weren’t allowed to marry. I, nor you, nor Joe Shmoe have to accept someone we don’t want to accept. It’s nothing evil if you don’t accept someone. It’s call freedom of choice. I can dislike single mothers all I want to, does that make me a bad person? No. The changing of the definition doesn’t mean anything to me as a Christian because I am in a heterosexual marriage which will always be an acceptable form of marriage. Here, and after life. But you, nor anyone else has the right to make me feel guilty for not accepting it.
Perhaps if gays wanted acceptance they themselves should stop being hate mongers and accept the fact that they a) no one is going to be liked by everyone, and b) they have no right to force someone to accept their lifestyle choice JUST LIKE they can choose to reject the heterosexual lifestyle. It does not make me evil to be against homosexuality, but apparently to them it’s black and white: you either support homosexuality, or you don’t. And if you don’t we’re going to cast hate upon you and call you hateful names.
You can already marry your first cousin in NC – that’s perfectly legal. Next time, before you make some “crazy” comparison to underscore your flimsy point, do a little research.
Also your question, “Why do we even have laws on marriage?” is a very good one,
One of my favorite things about this country…Marylanders get absolutely no say in what North Carolina does. Because North Carolina is for North Carolinians. Only. Exclusively. It’s a beautiful system whereby your opinion cannot dictate the way that other people live their lives. And by the same token, North Carolina cannot vote on Maryland’s policies. Which I think is just peachy.
Incidentally, everyone in the United States has exactly the same “right” to marry. Any man can marry any woman he pleases, and vice versa, no matter what state you go to.
Excuse me?? Where do you get facts to back your statement “most married couples are miserable.”? Yeah, that’s where I thought it came from.
My wife and I have been happily married for over 15 years. Ups and downs certainly but marriage is a vow (look it up) and you have to work at it daily. We know lots of happily married couples married even longer. Sure, we know couples who have split but it’s usually for petty stuff – irreconcilable differences. Sure there are bad marriages where physical and emotional abuse should not be tolerated but I would wager that is not the biggest reason for divorce.
Here’s a fact for you. No one can dictate or legislate love. It is either there or it is not. Marriage, however, can be legislated. Get used to living in a democracy where majority rules. Some people will disagree with you on certain topics. According to you that makes them “ignorant” and non-accepting. You must accept the fact that same-sex marriage is not acceptable to some groups.
John, you’re rhetorical kung-fu is, as usual, weak. Not even worth addressing really.
Poor Richard:
“You must accept the fact that same-sex marriage is not acceptable to some groups.”
I fully accept that – hell, I don’t even want to change their minds. I don’t call them names, I don’t picket their houses, and honestly they don’t keep me up at night. I guess I don’t understand why “not agreeing with it” should translate into taking action to make it illegal. There are plenty of things I don’t agree with…and guess what, I just chose not to participate in those things. Problem solved.
Wish there was an edit feature…I used the wrong version of “your” – yeah yeah…laugh it up.
Loving v. Virginia overturned bans on interracial marriage when there wasn’t majority support in every state…that’s because yes it’s true, in a democracy majority rules, but not in issues of rights for the minority. It’s simple. People who are against marriage equality ARE going to lose in the long run, it’s only a matter of time. You can live by the bible all you want (although no one follows what they don’t want to, of course) but law will win out in the end.
Sean’s got the plot right one this one – this battle WILL be won in the courts…everything that’s happening now is just a minor delay of inevitable…
“I still cannot possibly understand how a state contained enough ignorant people to deny marriage to two individuals in love. In this day and age, we are supposed to be accepting of others.”
So that vast majority of Americans are ignorant and wrong in not wanting same sex marriage. There are 38 states that have bans on same sex marriage with only 6 states that allow it, notwithstanding new legislation in MD and WA which passed this year.
Do you know whay 38 states have banned it? The people spoke and voted and did not want it. But I guess as you said, there are so many ignorant people.
“So that vast majority of Americans are ignorant and wrong in not wanting same sex marriage.”
yes
John I think it’s cute that you still think the majority are always right simply because they’re the majority.
Someday, when the majority votes away something very personal to you, you’ll get it. Or not.
I find it entertaining that you seem to think your views are right all the time regardless of what anyone else thinks
I just want to reiterate, especially because john seems to think that this is just a matter of opinion rather than fact:
Polls currently put gay marriage at around 50% approval nationally, but fear-mongering idiots pushed through constitutional amendments before the tide started turning (not to mention, the tide always seems to turn a little more slowly down in the south…). But I can tell you with full confidence that because these bans have no basis in law but rather in hateful twisting of religion, it is in fact only a matter of time before they’re gone. Whether gay marriage is legalized nationally through legislation (unlikely anytime soon as the republicans filibuster even procedural votes for the sake of politics), or the supreme court finally decides to stop perpetuating the discrimination against a minority group, this is going to happen. Even if we have to wait until people come to their senses in every state one by one to overturn referendums, it is an inevitability.
So if you want to be a Debbie Downer and continue to fight a losing battle, go for it…but if you decide to change your mind, don’t be surprised if it’s too late to get onto some fabulous gay wedding invite lists.
“…this is going to happen.”
Maybe, maybe not. The majority will let you know of their decision. You will wait for the answer. Welcome to democracy.
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
You disagree with me, Sean. That makes you a fear-mongering idiot and a “Debbie Downer” – According to your logic.
I just don’t see why anyone, despite whatever religious misgivings they may have, can see a legal reason why marriage should be restricted to heterosexual couples.
Also, to Anonymous, there is also no reason that polygamous and incestuous marriages should be restricted. At it’s base, it’s all about freedom of contract. Polyamorous people deserve the same rights as lgbt, who in turn deserve the same rights as hetero people.
What utter tripe!
Kudos to you guys for making everyone who disagrees with you “ignorant” or “hateful.” You could just say we’re wrong. But I guess that’s not dramatic enough. Anyway, well done.
Being mad homosexuals can marry is like yelling at people for eating candy when you’re on a diet.
Mike,
Didn’t say I was mad. Just don’t think that’s what marriage is.
A lot of people didn’t think inter-racial marriage was “marriage” either and they were all wrong. You are not the first or last person to be wrong. But you’re still wrong.
I don’t see what the problem is between two consenting, loving adults who want to get married. Would you care to explain to me what that problem is?
Race is not a choice. Basically most of us are mutts anyway. Can you prove there is a “gay’ gene?
With your logic, why stop at two consenting, loving adults?
Bad Analogy, you should change your name to, “Bad Logic” – the answer is in the question; consent. If you can’t give, you can’t contract for something. Marriage is a legal contract (which is why it’s a legal issue to get divorced)
Annnnnd we’re all done here….
No. It is not done. Human culture will follow natural law by default. Regardless of how “cool” something is there always remains natural law.
Nice try.
@John D
Dude, I don’t need to hear your arguments against gay marriage to paint you as a hateful person. Need I even bring up the YWC, a group whose only purpose was to celebrate white, straight, male culture and history? It’s cute though, the argument that when we call out people for being bigots that we’re being close-minded. “How dare you call me hateful for looking at you as a second-class citizen! That makes YOU hateful!” No, it doesn’t. You could celebrate straight marriage all day long and I wouldn’t say a WORD if it didn’t come at the expense of people like myself…but the fact is that it’s not enough for people like you to just enjoy the things you have; you have to actively support the denial of them to others. THAT’S what I find hateful.
@I Doubt It
I agree, I shouldn’t take for granted the fact that the majority currently does vote to legally discriminate. My optimism comes from the fact that not only has history shown that legal discrimination falls at some point, but also that the tide of public opinion is turning in our favor, and quickly. Even the Natl Org for Marriage has tapered its views in some states like NH, calling for civil unions instead because they realize people are turning away from the original idea that we deserve NO rights, that our relationships are so far from God’s view that not only can we not be married, but we can’t even have the rights of the married. And democracy works in more than one way – we may not have a majority of voters on our side right now, but we do have the law.
@R. Simms
Please seem my previous admonition of that silly logic.
@Bad Analogy
Aside from the outdated logic in your first comment (who cares if it’s a gene? that’s not at issue here), your second comment takes the cake. The “natural law” argument of just a few decades ago was based in a biblical belief against interracial marriage – that God would judge those who partook in such a union. Still wanna go that route?
Logic never is outadated. Neither is natural law – I’m not talking about any particular religion, I’m talking about nature – science, biology, perpetuation of the species, which requires one man and one woman. Like it or not, that is what we are made for. Nature. And if you don’t like it then well, sorry.
A lot of people don’t recognize my marriage to the fictional character of Sauron. Bigots and haters, they think they can define marriage so that you have to actually exist to be married. However, because there was once another controversy about marriage, and in time people’s views came to change on that issue, the laws of the universe dictate that I must be right and you must be wrong. This is scientific fact. Despite the fact that consistently my view is shot down through the democratic process, I am more and more shocked each time. Despite this, I know they are wrong, because this is the 21st century, and if I keep saying that, they will probably eventually feel dumb and agree with me…
Because in this democracy my view isn’t popular enough to pass, I will claim I have the constitutional right to this. If someone corners me by, I dunno, actually reading the document instead of simply equating their view with “constitutional” and another automatically “unconstitutional”, my backup plan is to claim the moral high ground and yell a lot. I will insist that this supersedes the democratic process, as it’s super important. Later when my opponents claim the same for something I disagree with, I will go back to yelling a lot…
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