Colleen Calls It: Freshmen etiquette 101
Every college party is different. Some parties you go to in the hopes of getting completely obliterated and dancing to something by LMFAO and some parties you attend simply to find a random hook-up for the night. Sometimes, the goal is to just kick back with a few good friends.
Whatever your goal might be, a few things can get in the way of party potential.
Among these are the police, random slob kabobs who puke on the sofa next to you, a lack of alcohol and freshmen. Yes, I said it. The F-word: freshmen.
Freshmen often bring an excessive amount of uninvited people to parties, drink entirely too much and generally act as if they are at a club in Philly instead of a small apartment gathering.
Talk about putting a damper on the night.
To all of the students reading this article out there, bringing a freshman to a party is worse than oversleeping for class registration. It is a big NO NO. Allow me to explain.
One night I was invited to a party in the Fairways with a few good friends.
Everything was going well at first. We had all of the essentials: a keg, good music, fun people and of course a designated driver. I couldn’t pronounce his name though, so I’ll just call him Jimmy. He drove a big blue van.
Anyway, the party was going well until we heard a knock at the door.
Problem number one: who actually knocks? Everyone was wondering who it was. Is it the police or the landlord, or maybe some annoying neighbors telling us to turn the music down? Some people were concerned. Others kept drinking and got their IDs ready. Most people hid.
Turns out that it was just a bunch of freshman girls. A bunch meaning a parade of about 15 freshmen girls in heels, hoochie dresses, club tops, hoop earrings and the equivalent of clown makeup. It reminded me of an episode of America’s Next Top Model: “eliminated upon arrival” edition. The freshmen filtered in, reeking of alcohol and using the buddy system to make it to the keg because apparently one does not simply walk into an already over-crowded kitchen alone to get a drink.
As the parade of freshmen waltzed through the apartment to the keg, one freshman I recognized stopped to talk to someone I was in the middle of a conversation with. She screeched “oh my gooooddddd, Andrewwwwww!” Mind you, I was still speaking to Andrew, mid-sentence as a matter of fact. Andrew looked over at her (interrupting me) and said “Hey.” She then proceeded to give him the kind of hug you would only give your long lost brother who you hadn’t seen in 10 years. We get it freshman girl, everyone now knows that you personally knew someone at the party who you did not show up with. Congratulations.
Then, this same freshman girl proceeds to say, “I am so wasted right now!” Oh awesome freshman girl, you drink too? “Yeah we PREGAMED.” Ladies and Gentlemen, not only does she drink, she does it before she goes out. Total badass.
Needless to say, this party became really annoying really quickly. It turned into a bad version of “you know you’re a freshman when…” The moral of this story is directed to all freshmen. Freshmen: when you’re invited out to parties, you need to lay low, bring a plus one (not a plus 15) and stay college-classy. The reality is that no one likes you yet and no one will like you ever if you act like a freshman. I get it, everyone has to start somewhere, but the kegger in the Fairways that you probably were not invited to isn’t the place. Party etiquette rule No. 101: If you are a freshman, don’t be that freshman.