Pitch, Please!: Terrible Taylor
Let’s talk Taylor Swift. She’s pretty, she’s blonde and she’s the girl next door who knows how to hit it on the nose when it comes to writing an emotional tune or two. But her songs have never clicked with me or stirred any emotions in my soul personally.
Most of them come off as a bit venom-laced and self-gratifying even if she presents herself as the victim 95 percent of the time (hear “Picture to Burn” and “Better than Revenge”).
Taylor has always played the optimist with all of her lead singles, painting a picture of the princess who will find her prince. In her real life, in the words of Miley Cyrus, she goes through guys like money flying “out the hands.” I mean, if Taylor Swift was eyeing me, I wouldn’t want anything to do with her in case I become part of the long list of boyfriends that she has immortalized in song and made millions off of.
If she wants a pity party, maybe she should take notes from Adele’s “21”and write a cohesive breakup album rather than nitpick at Joe Jonas’ breakup text or Jake Gyllenhaal wanting to listen to a little Vampire Weekend now and then. Now look at “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” arguably her biggest single to date. Why is this so different? It definitely isn’t her star power because if that was the case, all of Taylor’s singles would have done a Katy Perry and went top five on the Hot 100 and stayed put. It seems as if Miss Swift finally owns up to her true character as a man-eater instead of playing it off and giving us her signature shock and awe face that she works at every award show.
Critics said that the song lacked the thought that her previous singles did, whatever that means. I fully disagree. Most of Swift’s songs don’t take much thought. It doesn’t take that much to pull from your contact list and write everything down that that person did rather than acknowledging that you may have flaws of your own and you need to work on yourself rather than throwing yourself at the next guy you see.
That being said, I respect Taylor fully as a businesswoman. If serial dating these unsuspecting celebrities is the way to make her coins, no shame in her game. But if she’s really this boy crazy, it’s time for some Dr.Phil.


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love this but i love taylor swift. this just made me laugh!
OK, we get it: you don’t like Taylor Swift and Skrillex. Tell us about something you DO love and enlighten us! It’s too easy to bash something. Promote something instead
How is Adele’s album “more cohesive” than Taylor’s? Because she’s not the same person at all/has had completely different relationship experiences? Why the assumption that Taylor is “playing victim”?! My bad for not sympathizing for Jake Gyllenhaal. And like clearly we needed your opinion on why you’d never date Taylor Swift. Why don’t we talk other artists. . .how about MALE singers like John Mayer?
first of all to Katy, thank you for taking the time to read and respond to the column. it is much appreciated. to answer your questions, this is an opinion column so I state my opinion on music releated topics. I feel like Adele had a better handle on the songs she was writing about rather than just using a bunch of tired metaphors and shading her exes. secondly, there is no way in the world that you can have that much trouble in so many relationships unless there is a problem with you that you need to deal with (you as in Taylor) instead of going to the next guy and getting your heart broken. my comment about not dating Taylor, my opinion. sorry you didn’t like it. and finally, I apologize that I don’t support Taylor’s serial dating habits and bash all her exes like the media does and want to focus on her. I don’t see any of her past loves writing scathing songs about her and then laughing about it via interviews.
Kris –
“Much Better” by the Jonas Brothers.
The first lines:
“I get a rep for breakin’ hearts
Now I’m done with superstars
And all the tears on her guitar
I’m not bitter”
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