From the Editor’s Desk: Jeremy Bauer-Swole hits the gym
I do not start my day with a hearty breakfast. I start my day with a 20-minute shower (to my roommate’s chagrin) and a few slaps to the face to kick start my blood flow.
I will stumble into my car, continually praying that my commute is a dream and that I will awaken in the next few minutes to find a butler serving me a rocky road cupcake and bacon on a silver platter.
And that will be Saturday and my room has been cleaned until it’s sparkling and my bills have been paid by the tax elves that come this season.
Alas tax elves are extinct and my first class will always start at 9 a.m. In the last semester of my senior year here, I have realized that the routine I held since my freshman year of high school may not be healthy. My first meal of the day usually isn’t until 1 p.m. By then I am willing to eat any piece of goat that falls from the sky onto my plate. But I’m better than that.
This semester, with the help of my staff members, friends and family, I am starting a new journey—one that will lead me to a land of well-muscled sweat monsters and sorority girls in velvety Victoria Secret pants.
One cannot simply walk into Burdick Hall.
… OK apparently I can with a OneCard.
After watching a Dom Mazetti video, I have aspired to attain “thunder beast” status, in which I will pull on a polo and it will rip as my Hulk-back destroys the seams that attempt to contain my massive body.
I’m not quite there.
A friend of mine, editor Jesse Jones, has served as an admirable instructor thus far. Thursday we attempted “bis and tris” and I learned that your arms will hurt after just 15 minutes of a workout. But I did learn the recipe of a delicious protein shake that I will share with anyone who stops by the office.
The gym is an awkward place—eye contact is minimal and if you listen closely, you can hear grunts and panting. My dog has made similar sounds when I accidentally kicked him on the way to the bathroom.
The biggest challenge is perfecting the form of most workouts. You must maintain your elbow or bicep just so or the muscles will not stretch and rip properly.
And the crowd in particular at Burdick is awful—I had long since heard rumors of when and when not to visit the gym, but I did not take it to stock until my own venture.
Tip: Not 4:30 p.m.
I realize the greater campus community may not be invested in my workout commitment, but I feel that after the first week of the semester, I need to inject a little fun into our opinion section.
I have become a recent advocate for exercising.
All my life, numerous health teachers of various calibers have preached fruits, vegetables, condoms and consistent workouts.
I now can safely say that my two weeks or so of workouts have provided me with more energy and clarity in decision-making.
My moods are more even, which certainly helps me endure the senior year load.
Point of the editorial being: Take the time for some personal upkeep. Eat breakfast. Multiple campus eateries can serve you, the most recognized being Paws. Grab a yogurt from your fridge, toast some toast, fry a quick egg.
Make at least a weekly expedition to Burdick, or some other institute of health—I’ve found the best times to go throughout the day are mid-afternoon or early in the morning.
Your body may hate your 6 a.m. wake up call, but you’ll power through and find after establishing a regular routine, you might not even notice that the sun hasn’t yet risen.
And for more health techniques, check out our new Thursday column, An Apple a Day.