Bad Luck Brandi: New year but no new luck for Brandi
For the past couple of years for New Years Eve, my friends and I always debate over who will drive. This past year we decided to go to a warehouse party in DC and realized that we wouldn’t need to fight over it and that we could just take a cab.
We thought we were brilliant and we all started to get dressed up. I had bought a black lace dress that had an opening in the back and on the chest so I had to buy a special bra that wasn’t only strapless, but also didn’t have a back. Essentially it looks like two chicken cutlets that stick to your skin.
We called the cab after drinking a little bit and took a short drive into the city.
We had waited until 10 p.m., but we were still the first ones there…awkward. When everyone else had arrived, we were having fun dancing and singing.
After midnight, one our friends was having so much fun she was unable to stand. My other friend and I tried to get her out the back door. Another friend said she would go and find a cab to get us home.
I was stuck watching our sick friend. When she was done throwing up in a trashcan outside, I tried to get her to sit upright on the ground but only managed to be pinned down beneath her. I gave up trying to free myself and made myself comfortable.
I didn’t know where my phone was or how much time had passed, but I knew that I couldn’t feel my legs and that I had gotten her throw up on me.
I heard someone near the back door of the warehouse and started to shout for help. A girl appeared and I asked her to go find my friend, who came out a few minutes later and said that it was impossible to find a cab.
We convinced some guys to help get our sick friend off of me and help her inside. She then passed out on a sofa.
The owner of the place then started telling everyone the cops were coming and that we had to get out, but of course we were unable to get our friend to move or even a cab so I was imagining we’d be playing some strange version of “Weekend at Bernie’s” but New Years style. I called my brother, waking him up and asking him what to do if cops did come. He assured me I’d be fine and advised I go to a different street to find a cab. Then my phone died.
The cops never came, but everyone did leave, except for us. I walked outside and tried whistling for a cab, I even started opening my jacket, thinking that might make the situation better, but cabs kept passing, full of people.
Then some foreign man came up to me and told me I was beautiful then offered me a ride. I told him I had three other friends that needed a ride as well. I ran inside so excited, “I found a ride home with a nice Indian man!” My one friend then did the best impression I’ve ever seen of the grumpy cat meme and said “hell no.” So that option was off the table.
I went back out with a friend to find a cab and the owner of the place followed us, which at first I thought was nice until he put his arm around both of us and started trying to put his hand places they didn’t belong. Not knowing who this guy was and if it could turn out bad if I told him to get the hell away I figured it was safer if I let him molest the chicken cutlets that were essentially taped to my breasts.
I went inside to check if my phone had battery yet (I found a charger) and just as I reached it, it lit up and read “Brobro.” I picked up and my brother said, “Alright, I’m almost to DC.”
I was so confused, I gave him our address and he was there in 20 minutes. He threw my passed out friend over his shoulder and put her in his car as we all piled in and he led us safely home.
Thank God for Brobro.