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George Clooney blues

30 April 2014 By Paige Whipple One Comment

George Clooney is engaged and I am horrified. As an aspiring entertainment journalist, I am all about Hollywood news. But not this news.

Poor professor Atwater thinks I have no journalistic potential whatsoever. She asks, “What’s going on in the news?” and I reply, “George is engaged!” She looked at me with a look of pure confusion. Then I explained, “George Clooney…” Her look then turned into pure horror. “He’s old enough to be your grandfather!” Well, first of all, he’s only 52, and second, it doesn’t matter.

It’s just that George Clooney is a whole different level of man. E! News was trying to come up with who the next “Hollywood Bachelor” would be. I didn’t like any of their suggestions, which included Leonardo DiCaprio, John Mayer, and Robert Pattinson. NO, NO, NO! JOHN MAYER!? He is not a classy guy! What is going on?!

George has something that is simply intangible. He’s good looking, he’s a humanitarian, he’s classy, and he’s just on a completely different level. He has a suave, a swag, an aura, whatever you want to call it, that is just one-of-a-kind. He has class like no other man in Hollywood has class.

If I had to pick one man to be in the same category, I would pick Bill Rancic. (He’s married to Giuliana Rancic, of E! News, he won Season 1 of The Apprentice, he’s awesome. Google him.) But even then, he isn’t a bachelor. He simply has the same level of class as George, and I’m just as in love with Bill as I am with George.

Although I’m devastated that George will be locked down, (selfishly, I sort of hope that it won’t work out) if I had to pick a woman for George, it would be this one: Amal Alamuddin, who is a lawyer and humanitarian just like he is. She is incredibly smart and incredibly beautiful. I think he’s met a woman that is truly his equal (no offense, Stacey Keibler! I love any fellow Maryland girl). That can keep him interested for more than a handful of years.

Except, I could do the same thing. So I just need him to not get married for another year, until I graduate and can move out to Los Angeles. If any of you all have connections to George….hook a girl up.

I promise, guys, I’m not crazy.


One Comment »

  • Mac Hines said:

    Who?

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