In just a few more days, Halloween, the mother of all college non-holiday holidays, will be upon us; and if you’re in the same boat I am, you have no idea what you’ll be wearing come Saturday night.
It’s moments like these that make me nostalgic for the Halloweens of yore, when the toughest decision was merely deciding what color Power Ranger I wanted to be, or which route through the neighborhood would provide for optimal candy collection.
But since those days are at least three years behind me, I’d prefer to focus my creative energies on thinking up a costume for both you and I this weekend - and just like I do when I need answers to most of life’s existential questions, I turn to movies for ideas.
For those who want to avoid extravagance in their costumes this year, let yourselves be inspired by the 1970s “Saturday Night Live” skit (or the poster above my computer desk) featuring “The Blues Brothers.”
All that’s required is a cheap black suit, black fedora hat, black tie, and Ray-Ban-style black sunglasses (handcuffs and beaten-up police cruiser are optional, but make the effect even more impressive).
“But what if I’ve bought all the necessary equipment and can’t find anyone to go with me,” you may be asking.
Not a problem!
This is the genius of the Blues Brothers costume: End up flying solo?
No sweat, just tell people that you’re “The Transporter.”
More than one other friend sees you in this get up and finds it so hip they want in too? You’re the thieves from “Reservoir Dogs.”
If you find yourself trolling the streets of Towson or even make your way down into Baltimore, you’re almost guaranteed to run into a few zombies, a perennial favorite.
Zombies are a great choice, since there is no standard for the costume and it doesn’t matter how detailed you get.
Torn clothing, eye shadow, and a little bit of fake blood can provide a great costume even for the most modest of budgets.
The next question to ask yourself is what kind of zombie do you want to be – a “28 Days Later” or “Dawn of the Dead” (2004) zombie, running all over the place in a zealous rage?
Or more of a slow moving, meticulous “Night of the Living Dead” zombie?
A word of warning, however, for those looking for Halloween festivities in West Baltimore – if you see someone sporting a fantastic zombie costume, be careful before actually approaching them, as there is the distinct possibility they might not be in costume at all and are just simply a West Baltimore resident.
If none of these costumes suit you, if you find yourself thinking “Wow, those are great ideas, but I need something out of this world, something that people will remember,” you may need to venture in to the realm of performance art for the evening, and have I got an idea for you: “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
No, not the apes from the beginning and not the star-child from the end, not even the monolith, but HAL.
That’s right, the murderous sociopath of a computer onboard the spaceship.
Find out where the party is ahead of time and wait until the place is vacant a few hours before hand.
Having spent the past few nights arc-welding your HAL costume together, you will position yourself in the corner of the room and just wait.
Make sure to bring plenty of water and snacks for sustenance throughout the night, and to always speak to other partygoers in a polite yet passive-aggressive manner.
If all else fails and you wear yourself out thinking of a costume, stay at home and on Monday tell your friends you came dressed as the demon from “Paranormal Activity.”
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