The Trick is Not to Take it Personally.

We servers generally take it for granted, but left without it, we’re up the creek with a paper paddle. The biggest help you can be to making our day run smoothly – at least for a start: Pay your check.

Now, I can understand the motivation behind *eating* the food & then walking out without paying. You’ve gotten something for free. But what was the goal of my table Friday night? A man & a woman came in. The woman was obviously in a horrible mood, but there’s a certain grace period at the beginning of a table’s service during which the customer’s bad attitude won’t rub off on the server. For this limited window of time in the early stages (delivering drinks & getting the order) the server wants genuinely to make the customer happy. Just as their bad attitude is temptingly contagious to the server, we figure we might be able to turn the tables & get the sulkers, pouters, demanders, or degraders to join us in a smile & maybe even a kind gesture. We figure all the customers are human. After a certain point – & the point is different for all servers – we realize that you’re just going to be unpleasant no matter what because you’re locked in your own bad day & won’t open up to a little cheer . . . even when eating out. And we know the tip won’t be good no matter how hard we try, so while we don’t ignore you completely, if one of our nicer table’s food comes up at the same time as yours . . . guess who’s getting served first. And on busy nights, this principle could take its toll on your service.

Well, my breaking point is a little later than that of most & before I hit a total lack of smile & regard, I hit a sickly sweet phase. This table I had on Friday night didn’t reach either of them.

Miss Attitude sat with her head on her hand & mumbled for a “Coke drink” before I was able to finish my greeting. And as I always do – because sometimes Pepsi is a deal breaker – I ask if Pepsi is okay. It is. I look to Hubby & he’s leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, his menu unopened, “Nothing for me.”

I come back with the Pepsi, “Do you need a few minutes?” Miss Attitude still hasn’t looked up at me, “Yeah.”

I hit another table & deliver a check & come back to Miss Attitude & her accompaniment. She orders a fish dish. Hubby orders nothing.

When I catch Miss Attitude looking at me, I assume they need something since she wouldn’t even look at me to speak, so I head over. She ignores me as soon as I’m within range. Hubby orders a glass of water. I bring it & shortly thereafter, the fish is up in the kitchen. There has been no complaint. Miss A is halfway through her Pepsi & Hubby looks like he’s enjoying being off of his feet. I come out with the food & Miss Attitude has left the table. I figure she’s slipped into the bathroom. And I was just enough at fault to feel bad when I had to tell Jim that they walked . . . because had I been more observant & saw that Miss Attitude was storming in the direction of the door, I may not have set the food on the table. Once the bottom of the plate hits a table, the food cannot be given to another customer (not that the fish is incredibly popular anyway). I looked up from the instantly ruined food into Hubby’s eyes who was now standing.

“Uh, I’m sorry . . . she ‘on’t wannit anymore . . . uh . . . she was yellin at me bout sumfin . . . iowno . . .”

And he left. Didn’t get the check or even offer to pay for the drink. As Donna later reported, Hubby stood at the front looking around for a few seconds before asking her, “How the hell do you get out of this place?”

Uhhh . . . the door you came through, guy . . . the one *right* next to you. What are you guys on? Oh, Jim was thrilled. The angriest of the managers. Also the quietest. It’s an interesting combination that makes you feel sorry for this crushed spirit. Smothered by the unforgiving clientele & conditions of the Crackpot. It also makes you feel like shit when you do something wrong . . . or when you have to be associated with something wrong. Luckily, I did not have to pay for the dish. It was a dismal night & it would have been pretty much my entire take. Jim filled out a waste report & voided the check. I dumped the hot meal in the garbage.

People, either you’re hungry or you’re not. Eat your food, pay the check. Or put the menu down & say, “Gee, I really don’t think I want to eat here, let’s leave.” As annoying as *that* is, it’s nothing compared to taking up a table & our time & then wasting our food & in less lucky instances, costing us money.