Purchasing friends, prostitutes, and puppies

9/13/09 9:00 PM

When you come to college, you hope to make new friends. If you cannot make friends based on your winning personality (perhaps it’s actually a losing personality), you can always purchase your friends instead. Since I have been unable to build relationships with many people here on campus, I have had to turn to the latter option, buying friends. And since I do not think that I am quite cut out for the Greek life, I have had to find other ways of acquiring acquaintances with monetary means.   Now I know what you are thinking, and I wholeheartedly agree, prostitution is an excellent option for those longing for an empty and emotionless touch. But being someone of modest student earnings (grants and loans), I have found that a quick trip to Bourbon Street can offer the same empty... 1 comment