2008 Woodie Awards
Down to the core: Falling asleep is quite the challenge
Cory Twibell
Opinion | 4/28/08
I can't think of too many things more frustrating than being unable able to fall asleep. There are the New York Jets, reading half a book and realizing you aren't really enjoying said book, people who call sprinkles "jimmies," and waking up. Not being able to fall asleep grinds my gears the most.
Last week I successfully established myself as a seasonal schizophrenic, and have begun administering treatment accordingly. This week it appears I will be continuing the routine of auto-diagnosis as I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am a perpetual observer. I can't listen to a song without picking it apart or enjoy a simple trip to the cinemas without wondering why they chose a certain camera angle. Sometimes I feel like everyone in the world can fall asleep with music in the background or the TV turned on except me. I just want to fit in!
Friday evening I got in bed at 8:47 p.m. (does anyone actually know what p.m. stands for?) and I was sporting some real awesome slumber vibes. I had some casual cocktails during the day, not looking to drink myself into oblivion, but just enough to get a pair of them heavy eyes and maybe 8-10 hours so I'd be fresh for le Tigrefestival. The time now reads ("mocks" is actually a better verb) 2:28 A.M. and all the awesome slumber vibes hitched their wagons and headed west for the great rapid eye movement gold rush of 2008.
Have I arrived at the fork in the college crossroads where I need to routinely hit the sauce to fall asleep? Perhaps.
Have I transformed not sleeping into a habit, while others conversely have acquired the habit of regular sleep simply upon entering this world? Very likely.
Am I going to helplessly fall victim to these horrible, sleepless nights? 'Tis quite plausible.
Was it over when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Whilst the world sleeps, I shall writeth for ye olde Towerlight. I've actually grown a bit weary since I've started writing. Maybe I just performed my third diagnosis in as many tries, the verdict this time being I can't sleep unless I put my thoughts to my fingers and eventually to you reading them. Write before sleep, and bed will be yours to keep.
I know I probably shouldn't change my major again, but pre-med doesn't sound as intimidating when I'm miraculously diagnosing and healing myself every week.
Last week I successfully established myself as a seasonal schizophrenic, and have begun administering treatment accordingly. This week it appears I will be continuing the routine of auto-diagnosis as I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am a perpetual observer. I can't listen to a song without picking it apart or enjoy a simple trip to the cinemas without wondering why they chose a certain camera angle. Sometimes I feel like everyone in the world can fall asleep with music in the background or the TV turned on except me. I just want to fit in!
Friday evening I got in bed at 8:47 p.m. (does anyone actually know what p.m. stands for?) and I was sporting some real awesome slumber vibes. I had some casual cocktails during the day, not looking to drink myself into oblivion, but just enough to get a pair of them heavy eyes and maybe 8-10 hours so I'd be fresh for le Tigrefestival. The time now reads ("mocks" is actually a better verb) 2:28 A.M. and all the awesome slumber vibes hitched their wagons and headed west for the great rapid eye movement gold rush of 2008.
Have I arrived at the fork in the college crossroads where I need to routinely hit the sauce to fall asleep? Perhaps.
Have I transformed not sleeping into a habit, while others conversely have acquired the habit of regular sleep simply upon entering this world? Very likely.
Am I going to helplessly fall victim to these horrible, sleepless nights? 'Tis quite plausible.
Was it over when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Whilst the world sleeps, I shall writeth for ye olde Towerlight. I've actually grown a bit weary since I've started writing. Maybe I just performed my third diagnosis in as many tries, the verdict this time being I can't sleep unless I put my thoughts to my fingers and eventually to you reading them. Write before sleep, and bed will be yours to keep.
I know I probably shouldn't change my major again, but pre-med doesn't sound as intimidating when I'm miraculously diagnosing and healing myself every week.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Cory Twibell
posted 4/28/08 @ 3:41 PM EST
Should read "Germans" instead of "Japanese" here, applicable to all Animal House fans in Tigertown.
X
posted 4/29/08 @ 1:46 PM EST
This is a such a stupid fucking column. No one wants to read your diary about how you can't sleep.
PS: P.M stands for post meridiem. It's called doing some research (googling something) before you diarreah out a fucking "article" and assuming everyone is as stupid as you. (Continued…)
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